Women: (Satchel a bag, on the) children this year on the junior high school, the pressure of learning like a mountain. The grades always can not go, find a tutor to solve the problem.
[A, holding a very small cardboard on the board, written on the board: "Northland University tutor"]
Women: Which school are you? Child.
A: Hokkoku University.
Female: A talented student from an institution of higher learning must be very capable! Our children, study quite attentively, but the results just can not go up. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm not sure what to do.
A: Don't worry, ma'am ......
Woman: What do you call me? (hastily interrupted A)
A: I call you auntie, do not mind! I see you look young, did not call you grandmother, you let everyone see, you dress up, which is like a person in his sixties ah!
Female: Good!
Women: Good! I don't care what your name is, tell me first, how do you manage our children?
A: learning, must be hard work, the ancients hanging beam stabbing the end into a great weapon ......
Women: Hey, hey, our home that is the ceiling, where to find the beam to go?
A: That's good to do, you find a few wood, build a shelf, to the writing desk in front of a put, above the chain, hanging a charcoal fire pot, the pot burned a branding iron, and so that branding iron burned (Zi ......)
Female: stop, you that is to do the tutoring it? That is a severe torture **** confession ah!
A: (embarrassed) hit the child is not right, always let the child to eat a little bitter ah! You first remove the lamp, the **** light off ......
Female: Hey, hey, the lights are removed, then at night, the child how to study ah?
A: What are the difficulties? Grab dozens of fireflies, installed in a plastic, to the writing desk a hanging is not finished!
Woman: Where can I find so many fireflies?
A: You, let the kid catch fireflies during the day, and then learn at night, not enough?
Female: Why don't you study during the day then?
A: This, ...... I didn't think ...... what about it?
Female: I do not appreciate your teaching methods, you are taken down!
A: No need to pull back, moncler, you want a tutor?
[A runs down, woman paces back and forth]
Woman: People like this are fascists, never use them.
[B, carrying a bag and holding a larger cardboard board with the inscription: 'Tutor at Northern University']
B: (first bowing y to the woman) Hello, Auntie!
Female: This child is quite polite. Which school are you from?
B: Auntie please see: Northern University, or NU for short.
Female: A highly talented student from a higher institution of learning must be very capable! Our children! Learning is also quite attentive but the results just can not go, you say, what can be done ah?
B: Excuse me, your child, he ...... he is ...... what he is?
Female: You ask this, what do you think our family Xiu Xiu is?
B: Xiu Xiu! Xiu ...... Xiu ...... (voice trembling)
[B turns around, back to the woman, side to the audience, eyebrows fluttering, joyful, tossing his hair, straightening his clothes, rubbing his hands together, getting a roller brush out of his book bag, brushing the dust from his clothes]
Woman: What's wrong?
B: (turning back) Excuse me, what grade is your Xiu Xiu in?
Female: Just in her second year.
B: (Disappointed) (And happy) Junior high school is fine!
Female: What do you mean by "second year"?
B: I mean the second year of life, just 14 or 15 years old, it is the cardamom years. That's called knowledge is growing, the sinus is beginning to open. (Laughs) girls' achievements do not go, and adolescent children's psychology. Girls, can not be too closed, to be cheerful, to be enthusiastic, more with the boys to socialize is nothing. When this hazy feelings from the child's heart bud, we must bring it into the right track, healthy development. I want to guide our Xiu Xiu sister ......
Women: OK, we Xiu Xiu ah, is a boy!
B: Boy! Boy how to name it so?
Female: What do you care what we name our children?
[Woman turns to walk away, man catches up and stops]
B: Hey, hey, auntie, I can teach a boy, I can teach a boy!
[The two return to the center of the stage]
B: Excuse me, that male Xiu Xiu in your family, is he always close to girls?
Female: A little
B: Is there any sign of early love?
Female: I don't see it.
B: Is it true that when you see a girl, your eyebrows will fly?
Female: Yes, that's right, but also hair, clothes, and a small brush to rub the front and back of the scrub.
B: Yes, do you think such a child can learn well? (Exasperated) Boys and girls can not go up in grades, and adolescent children's psychology related. (Serious) boys, do not be too open, to be deep, to be stable, and girls can only affect the study, what good is it? When this kind of hazy feelings sprouted from the bottom of the child's heart, we have to strangle it in its infancy, and never let it go.
Female: I've heard that when this kind of hazy feelings sprout from the bottom of the heart, we should bring it into the right track and develop it healthily. (stares at B)
B: Whoever says that, whoever says that, I dare kick him in the face! How about it, Auntie, let me go for a trial lecture?
Female: Want to be a tutor in our house - call without a microphone.
B: How?
Woman: hands-free!
B: Hey, I'm not going yet! [B shakes his head and goes down]
Female: If you get someone like that to tutor you, isn't that like inviting the wolf into the house?
[C, cloaked in a coat, wearing sunglasses, holding a toothpick] (up)
C: (singing) beer it tops, cigar ...... (found the female parent) yohou, can finally catch a (spit out the toothpick, take off the glasses, put in his pocket, stroke the sleeve)
Women: (hands clutching the bag, backing up) you, you! What do you want to do?
C: (from the back of the pull out a larger cardboard, written on the "University of Northern Territory, tutor") What, look. （
Female: (letting out a sigh of relief) Oh, so it's a tutor, why do I look like a robber. What school are you from?
C: This is not written? North Border University, or NBU for short.
Female: Highly talented students from higher education institutions must be very capable. Our children study quite attentively, but the results just can not go, you say this can be done? (worried, sighing).
C: Don't worry, big sister
Female: First one called me ma'am, then one called me auntie, and now I'm called big sister, I'm getting younger and younger. (Facing the audience)
C: learning, can not be buried dead reading, to talk about the method of efficiency also have to get rid of the baggage on the mind.
Female: Well, it makes sense. Hey (↑), by the way, our Xiu Xiu, is a girl, on the senior high school, she is not too accustomed to and boys to socialize, you can teach?
C: Boys and girls do not matter, (facing the audience) dare not be a teacher-student relationship, even if it is brother and sister it. If she is really not used to male tutors, I'm sorry, you go find a female college student.
[C turned to walk away, parents in the back to intimidate]
Female: Stop, come with me!
C: Do what, do what?
Female: Go to our house and give a lecture.
C: Thank you! I'll definitely try my best!
[Phone rings, C pulls cell phone out of jacket pocket]
C: (to, female) Hold on a second. (Takes a few steps away, to audience) Hello. Oh, it's Honey! What can I do for you? What, a movie with you? Right away? No, I can't, right now I have something ......
Female: Are you going or not?
C: (turns to the parents, but the phone is still ringing in her ear) Later, sis.
[C turns to the audience, only to realize that the "Sis" was heard by Honey]
C: What, with whom to call Sis? Of course with you, didn't I say so? I don't dare to be a teacher-student relationship, let's say it's brother and sister.
Female: You still go or not.
[C turned around, took away the phone, hand over the microphone, said to the parents]
C: Forget it, I'm not going.
Female: What kind of person is this this!
[Parents angrily down, C turned to point at the back of the parents and yell, but the phone is still in the ear, the microphone is not turned off]
C: What kind of person are you? I told you I'm not going! You love to find whoever you want! We won't eat pigs with hair without you, Butcher Zhang!
[then turned around and proceeded to talk to Honey, the microphone always pressed to his ear]
C: Ay, Honey (soft), ...... is not! Miel! I'm not talking about you! Honey! Honey! ...... (the other person has hung up)
C: Hey! The tutor didn't work out, and the girlfriend is yellow!
[C runs down in a huff][Parents chattering][Street is tight, not empty]
Female: It's too hard to find a tutor
[D carries an oversized sign reading "Tutor at Northfield University"](top)
D: D: It's hard to find a tutor, right, blind, struggling, sweating, right?
D: I'm a tutor, I'm a tutor, I'm a tutor, I'm a tutor, I'm a tutor, I'm a tutor.
Woman: What do you do?
Ding: (flips a sign from behind his back and gestures to the audience) I'm a tutor.
Female: That's a pretty discreet sign, what school do you go to?
Ding: (scoffing) You're inexperienced, that's what all you parents ask: (learning) Which school are you from?
People answered: North Domain University, or NDU for short. (To the crowd) You said again, the higher learning institutions of high talent, the ability must be very high, right! And also said what, my child, learning is quite attentive, but the results just can not go up, this can be done? (to parents) Can you find a tutor? The money can be spent less?
Female: Then, according to you, how should I ask?
Ding: You have to ask: How old are you? How old did you go to school? Did you go to kindergarten? Did you go to a daycare center? How long have you been a member of the Communist Party? How many times have you written an application to join the party?
Female: I'm not from the Records Bureau, why do I need to check people's records?
Ding: Of course, you have to check, and you have to check your thinking style. You also have to ask, you are late a few back?
Women: Okay, okay, you first say what you can teach.
Ding: I can teach everything! Give the child to me, he is a pig, I can teach into a Sun Monkey.
Woman: Our child is always late for class.
Ding: I'll send him there
Woman: Our child doesn't pay attention in class
Ding: I'll help him listen
Woman: Our child can't finish his homework
Ding: I'll do it for him
Woman: Our child doesn't have a lot of hope for the middle school exams (shaking his head)
Ding: I'll do the exams for him
Woman: I can see that you're interested in being a tutor, so I'm sure you'll be able to help. out, you to do tutoring that is - paste New Year's Eve light to the middle of the paste ``````
Ding: how to say
Female: do not touch the edge. Bye-bye, your. (turned to go)
Ding: Hey, you do not want me okay, there is a buddy over there waiting for half a day. (Calling a distant person) Hey, come on, there's a tutor here!